Almost (If I Get There I'd Find That I'd Change My Mind )

I can't remember what prompted it, but a whole host of memories from secondary school flooded my head yesterday evening - probably another wish to return to the security of compulsory education in light of my increasing irritation with college.

Since leaving school, I frequently wish I could have had the ideas, tastes and convictions I have now, back then. If you had met me in 1998, you wouldn't have recognised me in 2004 unless you had known me in the intervening time - aside from appearances (*cringes* what was with the beard, and why didn't I get a haircut?), my entire personality has changed. I am not the same person who entered that school nearly 8 years ago, and I would be hard-pressed to understand my own mentality before the end of that first year.
I've always made a point of accepting past events and not contemplating the innumerable variations that could have ensued (The Back to the Future trilogy and several Star Trek episodes have taught me not to mess with the timeline and I almost went insane a few years ago just thinking about all the possible outcomes for my every action).

However, one recurring choice throughout school haunts me (I do believe that is the appropriate word). I'm going to skip the back story and get to the point - boy meets girl, years pass, and even though I loved liked her, I never asked her out. The last time I saw her was during the break between the two English exams  - the same week Morissey's Irish Blood, English Heart came out. The album reminds me of that time, and I started writing this straight after I finished listening to it.

That is my only regret. Sometimes it seems like that was the end of time.

Heavily edited July 2011
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