Waking Up And Getting Up Has Never Been Easy

Postmen in the Snow, Rupert Brun, 2010

Throughout this productive year I've maintained the post-a-week pace of writing by planning out the following month in advance. Usually there's around ten drafts in varying levels of completion If I'm struggling to bring a scheduled draft up to standard I'll postpone it a month and bring forward a more complete one. December was to be no different, only accommodating a two week gap between the first week and the Christmas week for obvious employment reasons. Unfortunately I fell ill in the first week which scratched the first post and the past two weeks has seen the Royal Mail network buckling under the strain of the seasonal post and periodic blizzards. I've been waking up early, on the streets till late and going to bed early - rinse and repeat. As such, I've neither had the time nor energy to write.

I've been dreading this time of the year since losing my beloved walk back in March. Originally this post was going to be about the experience of working on the busiest day of the year, the Monday before Christmas sometimes referred to as 'Funday'. The day isn't really that bad when things go right. If you've been on a walk for months at this point, or just on an easy front-and-back duty, the start of the Christmas week doesn't really pose a threat. My first working Funday in 2008 was actually an early finish whereas last year was only horrendous because a snowstorm hit just as I was en route to my area. Compare with my first year in 2007 when I was a spare body mostly working indoors. I covered two walks during the second week of December and in hindsight, compared to this year and my current duty, the load was quite light. The real problem is getting out on time and knowing the route - both ended prematurely at five in the evening walking to the nearest Post Office to return the last bag. When you've been walking for five hours, unable to read or find your way in the dark and cracking up you remember the Royal Mail motto: "If you don't laugh, you'll cry."

Quite a few times after those two experiences I had nightmares about being stuck out in the dark with mail, and some awful kick in the crotch like your signature sheet blowing away in the wind (as happened during one of the above), knowing/imagining that everyone else is sitting down to dinner and you still have an hour or more to go. We joke about binning the mail but everyone knows only an idiot thinks they can get away with dumping it, and there's a reluctant understanding when you hear about someone coming up against management and being marched onto the street unable to cope. It really isn't the best time of year to start the job, far better in the summer covering holidays when the mail is relatively light and the weather forgiving. One of the new starts covering an average walk was the last one out the office on the 10th. He started around noon and finished at half five. I was the second last out that day, started at half eleven and finished at four fifteen with my official torch lit up as if I was wondering around Silent Hill. That Friday was particularly atrocious because it had been preceded by three days of partial deliveries and no delivery on the Monday due to adverse weather conditions (which I missed, calling in sick). That said it can always get worse, I've heard stories from people who started at Christmas about finishing at seven in the evening. My own personal record of six hours and eighteen minutes was delivering multiple days of mail built up from a combination of strike and local holiday when I had just started.

The reason I'm posting this early (as you all should with your cards) is because every day has been Funday. I've been an hour or more over my finishing time all week - not even Tuesday supplied an on-time finish. This was the second Saturday in a row where I've finished at three in the afternoon - two solid hours past my last-letter time. It doesn't matter that it's not yet the 20th. Monday should be distinguished by the sheer volume of mail, but it's hard to imagine how much worse it could actually be. That's been answered by the return of the snow this weekend and the answer is: next week is completely shafted. It's very possible that we'll be delivering Christmas cards and presents into January. If the snow is still bad on low ground, let alone high ground like my old walk, a return to partial delivery is to be expected - but I wouldn't be surprised if the mail pressure actually forces full deliveries this close to the big day. Lord knows you don't want to get on the wrong side of the public in December - I've already got residents asking me about expected presents they've ordered online and I tell them I'm in the same boat. I ordered presents on the 2nd thinking that was plenty of time. I'm still waiting and with fresh snow I've cautioned people to prepare for a gift-less Christmas morning.

Annoyingly, my day off next week falls on the 25th. Five days in a row is usually hard enough at the best of times. On the plus side I'll be able to request a day off in lieu, which I will predictably deploy to gain another long weekend of my choosing. In our office all walks are under four hours, but some are more under four hours than others. When things are this bad, you're so relieved to be finished - all that comes to mind when I finally reach the end these days is a quote:

Please God let this be it... Yes! Goddamn it, fuck this level!
-Let’s Play SWAT 4 – Mission #11: I Die A Lot, The Spoony Experiment

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