Like a Rainy Day's Earth Won't Sit Still, Sliding on Down a Hill

Cropped screen capture of Jurassic Park (1993)

Christmas television isn't what it was in my day! I remember the terrestrial premières of blockbusters on BBC1 being a focal point of the day. In 1996 the film of the evening was Jurassic Park, an all time favourite as a consequence of being the first non-animation I can recall seeing as a child in the cinema. Now it's all Dreamworks computer-animations that have those annoying angular graphics that make it look like Pixar on the cheap. Bah. Humbug. Well thank the Lord for ITV2, as not a day goes by without them broadcasting Jurassic Park or Back to the Future. Actually, make that six days. I noticed they broadcast the exact same double bill (JP, The Bourne Identity) at the exact same time not a week later. I've well and truly lost count of how many times I've seen said dinosaur film, though some would say clearly too much as I did a special Christmas Day live one-man overdub of almost the entirety of the film (and got told to shut up). The fact that I know the film so well as to quote entire exchanges of dialogue made me aware of ITV2's clunky editing.

Film For The Future

Victor Vasarely outdoor work, Váradi Zsolt, 2005

Despite the hype, I refuse to see Avatar. I can see through it. People keep talking about how amazing it looks, they even admit that the story is hackneyed. I can't quite understand why Avatar is up against The Hurt Locker for awards. No, that's no true. It's pretty obvious Avatar is the big 3D revolution tentpole release - what better way to cement that, than by showering it with psuedo-critical praise. The phrase you are looking for is 'circle jerk'.

Most won't know this by name - L'Arrivée d'un train en gare de La Ciotat. It's the short film with the train coming towards the camera. Cinema goers in 1896 may not have scrambled out of their seats to get out of the way, but they were impressed by the lifelike images on the screen. That's really what Avatar is - a glorified IMAX demo. The Hurt Locker on the other hand concerns its main character and his motivations. Long after the special effects of Pandora are superseded, The Hurt Locker will offer its narrative for continued contemplation.

Foreign 1: Of What Is Known As...

Whereas I would have been content to sit in the departure lounge, someone has decided we should first board the plane and then wait 40 minutes for taxi clearance. We're going fucking nowhere in seating unfit for battery hens and in close proximity to people I neither know nor like. The pilot has the cheek to thank me for my patience and understanding, because I don't remember expressing either of those sentiments. This in addition to my two particular hates of air travel: 1) the inability to move in any direction other than toward the screens showing the latest Hollywood drivel 2) Personal hygiene is hindered by the difficulty of washing hands and face (more so on the 5 hour flights to the Canaries) without having to disturb everyone else and standing directly in everyone's view waiting for the toilets to become free. I do not like, to quote Bender, being "wrapped in grease".